Are you ready to enlist in a laughter battalion? Look no further because we've got over 100 army puns that will have you standing at attention! From tanks to camouflage, these puns will march their way into your funny bone. So gear up and get ready to go to war... against those frowns! Whether you're a military buff or just enjoy a good laugh, these puns will definitely have you reporting for duty. So fall in line, soldier, and prepare for a barrage of hilarious and witty jokes that will make you salute with laughter. Get ready to invade the world of army puns and march to the beat of comedy!
Army Puns: Best Wordplay Puns
- Why did the soldier bring a Ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to climb the ranks!
- Why did the scarecrow join the army? Because he heard they were outstanding in their field!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why don't skeletons fight in the army? They don't have the guts!
- Why did the soldier Sleep with a loaded gun under his pillow? Because he wanted to have sweet dreams!
- Why did the soldier go to art school? Because he wanted to draw his weapon!
- How do you greet a soldier on their Birthday? "Have a blast!"
- Why did the army recruit the baker? Because he always brought the dough!
- What do you call a soldier who survived a grenade blast? Lucky!
- Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the battlefield? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
Army Puns: Humor with Tom Swifties
- The general said, "I need a new Tent." Tom said, "Well, that's intense!"
- "I can't find my camouflage pants," said the soldier. Tom replied, "They must be hiding!"
- "I want to join the infantry," said the recruit. Tom added, "That's a Foot in the right direction!"
- "I lost my bayonet," the soldier said pointedly. Tom responded, "Sounds like you're on the cutting edge of trouble!"
- "I need a new helmet," said the private. Tom quipped, "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be a head above the rest!"
- "I can't find my compass," said the lost soldier. Tom remarked, "Looks like you've lost your sense of direction!"
- "I'm joining the artillery," said the recruit. Tom chimed in, "That sounds like a blast!"
- "I'm tired of these long marches," said the soldier. Tom added, "Well, at least you're marching to the beat of your own drum!"
- "I want to be a sniper," said the soldier. Tom replied, "That's a sharp career choice!"
- "I'm going to join the tank division," said the recruit. Tom joked, "Just remember not to tread on anyone's toes!"
Historical Puns
- What did the soldier use to make his bed? Civil Warms!
- Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the battlefield? To draw his weapon!
- How does a soldier greet people? With a cannonball wave!
- Why did the soldier break up with his calendar? It had too many dates!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why don't soldiers play hide and seek? Because good men are hard to find!
- What did the general name his Pet turtle? Napoleon Bonaparte!
- Why did the soldier get a sunburn? Because he didn't have shade at the Battle of Gettysburg!
- How do soldiers part their hair? In a Military part!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
Marching to the Beat: Army Puns
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the army? Because he wanted to go to the highest rank!
- What did the sergeant say to the misbehaving cannon? You're being a little too ballistic today!
- Why don't soldiers like to play hide and seek? Because good snipers always find them!
- Did you hear about the war photographer? He always takes a shot at the perfect moment!
- How does an army medic greet people? With a bandage and a salute, of course!
- What's a soldier's favorite type of math? Infantry, because it involves a lot of "foot" Work!
- Why did the soldier bring a map to bed? He wanted to dream of conquering new territories!
- What do you call a Sleeping soldier? A nap-tain!
- Why did the soldier break up with his internet girlfriend? She turned out to be a "catfish"!
- What do you call a retired tank? A "has-been" on treads!
Double the Fun: Army Puns
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? She should've joined the army, they know all about discipline!
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why did the soldier break up with his calculator? Because she couldn't count on him!
- How does an army general keep his pants up? With the "waist" of his men!
- What's a soldier's favorite exercise? Military presses!
- Why did the scarecrow enlist in the army? He heard they were outstanding in their field!
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
- Why did the soldier sleep under the tank? He wanted to get up oily in the morning!
- How do soldiers part their hair? They use combat combs!
Paronomasia Puns: Army Puns
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? Because he wanted to "escalate" the situation!
- What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran!
- Why did the army recruit become a chef? Because he wanted to "whip" the troops into shape!
- How do soldiers greet each other on the battlefield? With a "tank" you!
- Why don't soldiers ever go on strike? Because they can't afford to lose their "ranks"!
- What do you call a soldier who can't find his uniform? Dis-armed!
- What do you call a soldier who can play music? A marching "band"it!
- Why did the army recruit join the circus? Because he heard they had great "drill" teams!
- What's a soldier's favorite type of Bread? Grenade-ola!
- Why did the army recruit become a gardener? Because he wanted to "plant" the seeds of victory!
Funny Rhyming Army Puns
- I joined the army but couldn't handle the alarm-y.
- When the soldier lost his voice, he became disarmed-y.
- The drill sergeant had a farm-y, filled with army-chickens that were quite barmy.
- During training, the soldier's skills were quite charmy.
- The army chef's cooking was so delightful, it was called gourmet-y.
- The soldier loved his tank, it made him feel almighty.
- When the army dentist retired, he felt toothless and flighty.
- The soldier's uniform was so tidy, it made everyone else look shabby.
- At the army base, they played a game of cards and called it army-rummy.
- The general had a great sense of humor, he always made everyone army-happy.
Funny Army Spoonerism Puns
- General Jammy - General Army
- Sergeant Major Blunder - Sergeant Major Under
- Private Snapple - Private Apple
- Colonel Noodle - Kernel Colonel
- Corporal Mop - Mop Corporal
- Captain Snickers - Snickers Captain
- Lieutenant Flutter - Flutter Lieutenant
- Major Pepper - Pepper Major
- Brigadier General Smiles - Smiles Brigadier General
- Commander Bumble - Bumble Commander
Army Anagram Puns:
- A grumpy sergeant = A tangy rump sergeant
- Battle strategy = Great batty lagers
- Drill instructor = Dull tractor in
- Soldier's uniform = Fluoridin's odor
- Military base = I'm liable to say
- Combat training = Main barn ego tit
- Tank commander = Dark cat modern
- Army general = My large Ear
- Squad leader = Ideal rodents
- Rifle ammunition = Alieniform ruin film
Marching to the Beat: Army Puns
- Why did the soldier break up with his calculator? It could only divide and multiply, but it couldn't add anything special to their relationship.
- Why don't soldiers play hide and seek? Because good men are hard to find.
- Why did the army chef get promoted? He knew how to curry favor with his superiors.
- Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to raise the bar.
- What do you call an army of bunnies marching backward? A receding hare-line.
- Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the battlefield? To draw his weapon.
- Why did the soldier break up with his internet provider? They couldn't connect on any level.
- Why did the army recruit break the clock? He wanted to join the ranks of the Second Hand.
- Why was the soldier always calm during battle? He had a great sense of calm-ouflage.
- What did the sergeant say to the naughty cannonball? You're grounded!
