Customs Puns: 100+ Hilarious Wordplay Gems to Declare Your Laughter at the Border

Customs Puns

Are you ready to embark on a journey filled with laughter and wit? Look no further because we've got over 100 customs puns that will have you grinning from ear to ear. From border crossings to baggage claims, these puns will take you on a hilarious adventure through the world of customs. So prepare to be thoroughly entertained as we explore the humorous side of immigration and international travel. Whether you're a globetrotter or just someone who loves a good laugh, these puns are sure to leave you in stitches. So sit back, relax, and get ready to customs-pun your way to a good time. Get ready to laugh until your passport photo cracks!

Customs Puns That'll Make You Parcel Out in Laughter

  • When the customs officer asked me if I had anything to declare, I said, "Only my love for puns!"
  • Working at the customs office is a great job – you get to meet all kinds of "import"Ant people.
  • Customs officers are very knowledgeable about different cultures. You could say they have a "passport" to understanding.
  • Why did the customs officer Break Up with their partner? They just couldn't handle the baggage anymore.
  • At the customs office, they always deliver top-notch service – they really know how to "handle" things.
  • What do you call a customs officer who tells good jokes? A pun-trol officer!
  • When the customs officer asked me if I had anything to declare, I said, "Just my undying love for customs puns!"
  • Why don't customs officers ever get lost? Because they always know the "waybill" to go.
  • When the customs officer asked me if I had anything to declare, I said, "Only my Appreciation for a good pun!"
  • Customs officers have a great sense of humor – they always know how to "clear" the Air with a good joke.

Customs Puns - Humor with Tom Swifties

  • I can't believe I got caught smuggling spices. It was so cumin-Criminal!
  • "I have nothing to declare," said the mime artist, silently.
  • "I love going through customs," said the tailor, seamlessly.
  • "I lost my passport!" Tom exclaimed, uncharacteristically.
  • "I always get stopped at customs," said the smuggler, suspiciously.
  • "I forgot to declare my Pet parrot," said Jack, squawkingly.
  • "I can't believe they confiscated my counterfeit currency," Tom counterfeited.
  • "I'm tired of waiting in line at customs," Tom said, impatiently.
  • "I Hope they don't find my secret compartment," Tom compartmentalized.
  • "I got caught smuggling fireworks," said Tom, explosively.

Hilarious Historical Puns

  • Why did the ancient Egyptian pharaoh refuse to pay his taxes? He didn't want to pyramid the government's wealth!
  • What did the medieval Knight say to the customs officer? "I've come from far and plate, but I'm here to pay my duty!"
  • How did the ancient Roman trader avoid import taxes? He declared his cargo as "gift-orious"!
  • Why did the Pirate captain have trouble with customs? He couldn't arrrr-gue his way out of paying the toll!
  • What did the medieval tailor say when he was stopped at customs? "I'm just here to sew some seeds of fashion!"
  • Why did the ancient Greek Philosopher always pay his customs duties? He believed in the Socratease of obeying the Law!
  • How did the medieval merchant avoid paying customs? He claimed his goods were "knightly essentials"!
  • What did the ancient Egyptian pharaoh say when asked about customs duties? "I'm just here to pyramid my wealth!"
  • Why did the pirate refuse to pay customs? He said it was a "plunderful" opportunity to save some doubloons!
  • How did the medieval knight avoid customs inspections? He declared his armor as "essential equipment for slaying dragons!"

Funny Literal Puns

  • Why did the customs officer break up with their partner? They couldn't handle the baggage.
  • What did the customs officer say when they caught the smuggler? "You're under a-rest!"
  • Why did the customs officer go to therapy? They had too many emotional baggage.
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to dance? A hip-hoperation officer!
  • Why did the customs officer become a chef? They wanted to spice up their life!
  • What do you call a customs officer who can't stop talking? A customs chatterbox!
  • Why did the customs officer become a musician? They wanted to be a part of the customs band.
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to play jokes? A customs prankster!
  • Why did the customs officer become an artist? They wanted to draw attention to themselves.
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to read? A customs bookworm!

Double Entendre Puns: Customs Edition

  • Why did the customs officer become a comedian? He had a knack for delivering "borderline" jokes!
  • I asked the customs officer if he had any good jokes, and he said, "I've got plenty, but they're all "duty"-ful!"
  • When the customs officer told me a joke, I couldn't help but laugh. It was a real "import" of laughter!
  • The customs officer said he wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but he always ended up "checking" his jokes!
  • At the customs checkpoint, the officer asked me if I had anything to declare. I said, "Only my love for puns, it's "Tax"-ing!"
  • The customs officer told me a joke about smuggling vegetables, but I didn't think it was very "corn-y"!
  • When the customs officer made a joke about passports, I couldn't help but "visa"-bly laugh!
  • The customs officer told me a joke about customs regulations, but it went way over my "luggage"!
  • I asked the customs officer if he had any good puns, and he said, "Sure, they're all "duty"-ful, just like my job!"
  • When the customs officer told me a joke, I couldn't help but "smuggle" a laugh!

Customs Puns That Will Make You Parcel Out Laugh

  • Why did the customs officer break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his baggage.
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to dance? A cha-cha-checker.
  • Why did the customs agent bring a Ladder to Work? He heard they needed a higher authority.
  • How do customs officers stay in shape? They do a lot of container exercises.
  • Why did the customs officer become a Gardener? He wanted to work with border plants.
  • What do you call a customs officer who tells jokes? A pun-patrol officer.
  • Why did the customs agent go to art school? He wanted to master the fine art of inspection.
  • What did the customs officer say to the comedian? "You can't just passport the border like that!"
  • Why was the customs officer always calm? He had a lot of experience dealing with impatience.
  • What do customs officers do on Halloween? They go trick-or-smuggling.

Funny Rhyming Puns about Customs

  • When the customs officer asked if I had anything to declare, I replied, "Only my undying love for Travel!"
  • I always carry a toothbrush in my luggage, just in case I have a brush with customs!
  • The customs officer asked if I had any fruits or vegetables, and I said, "No, I'm just bananas for traveling!"
  • I tried to smuggle a joke book through customs, but they caught me red-handed, saying, "No pun intended!"
  • When the customs officer asked if I had any contraband, I said, "No, just a suitcase full of bad puns!"
  • I was nervous going through customs, but the officer reassured me, saying, "Don't worry, we're just checking for luggage jokes!"
  • The customs officer asked if I had any cash over the limit, and I said, "No, just a wallet full of funny Money!"
  • I once tried to smuggle a cheeseburger through customs, but the officer said, "Sorry, no fast Food allowed, it's a real whopper of a rule!"
  • When the customs officer asked if I had any Alcohol, I said, "No, just a flask full of laughter!"
  • I told the customs officer, "I'm just an aspiring comedian trying to make it through customs with my wit intact!"

Funny Spoonerism Puns

  • Did you hear about the customs officer who became a Ballet dancer? He pirouetted his way into the job!
  • Why did the customs agent become a baker? He wanted to make dough!
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to sing? A melodious inspector!
  • Why did the customs officer quit his job to become a magician? He wanted to make things disappear!
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves to fish? A tackle inspector!
  • Why did the customs officer start a band? He wanted to be a rock-and-Roll inspector!
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves gardening? A plant inspector!
  • Why did the customs agent become a chef? He wanted to spice up his career!
  • What do you call a customs officer who loves photography? A snapshot inspector!
  • Why did the customs officer become a hairstylist? He wanted to comb through his options!

Customs Puns that are Really Punny

  • When the customs officer asked if I had anything to declare, I replied, "Just my dance moves, they're pure 'declared' fun!"
  • My friend was stopped at customs for carrying a bag of mixed nuts. He told the officer, "It's not contraband, it's just a 'nut cards' mix!"
  • At the Airport, I saw a customs officer doing magic tricks with passports. He really knows how to 'trick pass' the Time!
  • When I was questioned about my luggage, I said, "I'm not smuggling, it's just a 'miles snug' bag!"
  • The customs officer asked if I had any alcohol to declare. I said, "No, I'm just 'alcohol red' from the long Flight!"
  • My friend tried to sneak in some exotic fruits through customs. I told him, "You can't just 'suit fox' them past the officers!"
  • When the customs officer asked if I had any Electronics, I replied, "No, I'm 'cool in sets', just some souvenirs!"
  • At the border, the customs officer looked at my clothing and asked, "Are those 'ironed suits' or something else?"
  • When the customs officer asked if I was carrying any plants, I said, "No, I'm 'plant cars' not a gardener!"
  • My friend was caught trying to bring in extra shoes. I told him, "You can't 'shoe taxi' them past customs that easily!"

Sidesplitting Situational Puns

  • Did you hear about the customs agent who became a comedian? He really knows how to crack a joke while cracking down on smuggling!
  • I tried to smuggle some chewing gum into the country, but the customs officer caught me. It was a sticky situation!
  • The customs officer asked if I had any fruits or vegetables in my bag. I replied, "No, just a bunch of laughs!"
  • I got held up at customs because they thought I was smuggling a bunch of books. Turns out, they were just my passport to Comedy!
  • Why did the customs officer become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to make sure no one was smuggling any bad jokes!
  • The customs officer asked if I had any undeclared items. I said, "Just my sense of humor. It's too valuable to leave behind!"
  • I tried to bring my pet parrot through customs, but they wouldn't let me. I guess they didn't want any more wisecracking birds in the country!
  • When the customs officer asked me if I had anything to declare, I replied, "Only my love for puns. It's a Crime how much I enjoy them!"
  • The customs officer asked if I had any contraband in my suitcase. I said, "No, just a few jokes that are guaranteed to smuggle a laugh!"
  • Why did the customs officer start a comedy club? He wanted to catch smugglers and get a good laugh at the same time!